You realize that this "tipping culture" is not that prevalent outside the US? In many countries, especially in Europe, service and stuff is paid market wages, and there's no reason to tip by default, just when you are extremely satisfied with the service.
Does the fact that I didn't know about "tipping culture" when I was first time in the US makes me an asshole?
Tipping and basic etiquette (particularly involving dining) is one of the fundamental bits of culture everyone should research when traveling to another country.
If you are in the US and received good service, but left crappy or zero tips then yes, you definitely leave a negative impression of yourself. Nobody will understand why you left a bad tip or just think "oh, he's a foreigner, he doesn't understand." They will just think you stiffed them. Or they will perhaps think - "oh he's from country X - they must all be cheap assholes there. I hope I don't get any more tables with people from that country."
Would it not be the same if I visited your country and was rude or insulting regarding some very basic and obvious part of your culture?
Would it not be the same if I visited your country and was rude or insulting regarding some very basic and obvious part of your culture?
People may differ about what is "obvious." Something that doesn't exist in my country and that I've never heard of ... is not going to be "obvious" to me.
If only there were some way people going to new countries could learn the basics about where they're going. I was thinking maybe an app, but connectivity is hard when traveling, so I'm thinking maybe a book. Sort of like a FAQ or a new user's guide. Maybe we could call it a guide-book?
Bullet point #1. I would consider that fairly obvious.
If you can't manage to stumble across #1 cultural tip then you obviously have not done much research. You shouldn't expect people to excuse your ignorance of their culture. That goes for any country - not just the US.
Sorry on behalf of them! I knew about the tipping culture because my grandfather was a general manager for a branch of a US based multinational company and had to travel there a lot, and my father had traveled a bit to use scientific instruments there (like synchrotrons).
But to the average Australian - we have a very decent minimum wage and ridiculously good penalty rates (like, work a public holiday and you get double time or double time and a half). Tipping is just something that is non-existent, and I think people just don't expect that the US would treat people so much worse than we do...
"...I think people just don't expect that the US would treat people so much worse than we do..." The US would be in much better shape if your expectation was correct. Sadly, many Americans [1] think that tipping is a good thing for servers because if they work hard then they'll get good tips.
[1] I've lived in the USA almost my entire life, and have never understood why "we" are "Americans" when there are many, many other countries on both American continents that aren't "Americans". Why is there not a term for us that is more accurate and less Americentric (wait, really?).
Well, we call ourselves Americans too :) (here in South America), and we call people from the USA "Estadounidenses".
You might see on many left-wing president's speeches, they start with "Hermanos Americanos" ("American Brothers"), which definitely does NOT include the USA :P .
Scare quotes are unnecessary; nobody would confuse you with a cultural imperialist.
The country is called "The United States of America," so its people are "Americans." Similarly, people from "The United States of Mexico" (yes, that's its real full name) are called "Mexicans."
Languages evolve as an emergent property of people who speak them. Language usage is not subject to revision or control by self-appointed intellectual fairness monitors who unilaterally arrogate to themselves such an authority. Linguists call this practice "prescriptivism," and it is widely denigrated as (ironically) an imperialist tactic used by the power class to enforce their social position.
However, the principle itself is not limited to any particular political orientation; leftist prescriptivism is just as unsupportable in a linguistic sense as imperialist prescriptivism is.
Tipping etiquette is far from basic and almost downright intimidating. Even when I thought I had tipping at restaurants under control, I then lived in fear of embarrassing myself not tipping people in hotels and I'd stayed in a dozen hotels before I suspected that the maid cleaning the room expected a tip! Once got caught without change in a bathroom in a club in Hollywood and was so embarrassed that I handed over $10 foreign currency to a guy who handed me a towel - insane on every level.
Restaurant tipping in the US is fairly standard and shouldn't be too confusing or stressful. But I know exactly what you are talking about with other situations. For what it's worth, Americans are sometimes uncomfortable and don't know what the heck to do either! Hotels can be especially confusing.
Basically restaurants are the only place where tips are absolutely expected and you can make yourself look bad by not tipping. For anything else, if I'm not sure I usually just check a travel guide or go on forums and ask other people what they do.
I would do this if I travel to any country, just ask around at how you should behave if you want to fit in.
I've been to 30+ countries and the US is the only one where you'd need to research tipping beforehand. The notion that you'd need to hit up a forum to learn how to supplement certain wages in very specific situations in a hotel is pretty silly!
You even admit that locals barely know what's expected in some situations!
I grew up reading Richard Feynman, and was particularly impressed by his dislike for tipping (both giving and receiving), because it matched my thoughts on it.
He was from the US, and I don't think he was being an ass-hole.
You answered your own question tho, didn't you? No, it makes you someone who comes from a different culture, and I think it would be safe to assume that the person to whom you're responding would agree.
Does the fact that I didn't know about "tipping culture" when I was first time in the US makes me an asshole?