I agree with you about people being ugly to each other, but it's easy to fall into doing that oneself even while perceiving all the ugliness as coming from others. This is the core problem here. It may be the core problem in other places too.
The solution has to include each of us seeing how we too add ugliness, and for this there's a difficult precondition: we have to be willing to look at that regardless of how badly other people are behaving. It always feels like the other person started it and did worse. Putting attention primarily on that feeling, which is what most of us do, is a recipe for a downward spiral—one can justify literally anything that way.
The solution has to include each of us seeing how we too add ugliness, and for this there's a difficult precondition: we have to be willing to look at that regardless of how badly other people are behaving. It always feels like the other person started it and did worse. Putting attention primarily on that feeling, which is what most of us do, is a recipe for a downward spiral—one can justify literally anything that way.
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